Confessions of an Expat's Wife

from one country to another,thousands of miles earned, different languages to get by with, cultures and expectations to live with plus millons of photos taken to tell the adventures of my life

I am a woman. I am entitled to PMS (Pre-Menstrual Syndrome). This means, I can get ticked off easily with small things and eat tons of potato chips the whole time.

This is how PMS gets into me. I hate it. The other night, Husband and I had an argument over how hollandaise sauce should be made and how the potatoes for dinner should be cut. He called me up early in the day to tell me that he will be cooking dinner that night. It was going to be some fresh Turbot (Halibut) fish with hollandaise sauce and roasted potatoes on the side.

When he got home, he said he was going to play football first at 7:30pm with the guys and will cook when he gets back. I offered to do the pre-prep for dinner and told him I will semi-boil the potatoes and chop the garlic (which I detest!) so it would be easier to cook. He asked if I was also going to make the hollandaise sauce. I said I knew how to make the sauce from my college years but I haven't done it in the loooongest time. He said it was ok and he will do it when he comes back.

I decided to surprise him and make a mock hollandaise sauce while doing the rest of the pre-prep. It wasn't anything but I thought it would be a pleasant surprise. He got back late - around 9:30pm and I was already starving. The waiting made me more anxious and annoyed. To top it all, when he hugged me and gave me a kiss, he was smelling like how athletes smell after a game---> really bad!

He went to the kitchen and asked me why the potatoes are cut. I told him, I was going to boil them and he said it was ok. Of course I cut them in halves to make it easier to boil. Apparently he had something else in his mind but he failed to mention this to me before he left for the game. Then he saw the sauce and asked me what was it and tasted it. He gave this blank face and said it didn't taste anything.

This just ticked me off big time. I told him to just throw the sauce away and I marched out of the kitchen and took a long shower. I totally ignored him the whole night until he got mad. Then, we had the silent war in the living room.

Who would have thought that I would make such a big deal and drama over potatoes and sauce?

We ended up not cooking, not eating dinner and miserable. Thanks to PMS.

The past two weeks has been a blah to me. I was trying to be philosophical over things that I do not really need to worry about. I was asking myself beauty pageant type questions in the line of "what is the essence of being a woman ( but I couldn't come up with a smart Sushmita Sen-like answer)." I was thinking and worrying too much about trivial things. I guess, that's the result of having a lot of extra time to spare.

Funny though, I couldn't really remember how my day went. Time goes by so fast it becomes scary. I read tons of blogs and all sorts of crap in the internet and the next thing I know, three hours just went by. The thing is, when I go out for a walk,time seems to go slow.

I recently declined an invitation to go out for a drink with a group of people since I had my monthly bookclub meeting. My friend ( the one who invited me) remarked : " C'mon, there are more productive ways to spend your time than be in a bookclub." I honestly didn't know what to say and just gave out a weak laugh. Am I becoming a bore just because I attend a bookclub meeting? Is it better to party, consume barrels of beer, talk nonsense and get a bad hangover the next day?

I'm in need of a little bit of intellectual stimulation. It gets too easy and boring to do the same things over and over. That is why, when I watched my friend's dance lessons of Tango, Argentinian version, I wanted to sign up. I never took dancing classes. I firmly believe I don't have the body rhythm for it but, I wouldn't mind to take a plunge and see how it goes. I was already asking some of my Turkish girl friends to teach me belly dancing and I find myself struggling with it what more tango and all the fancy footworks.

I will try to convince my other half to go with me to this dance lessons. I have a feeling he will say no. I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

By the way, I went to the bookclub and managed to convince my other group of friends to reschedule the night out and go out with them at the same time. I'm such a people-pleaser. I just can't say No!

About Me

Name: duke

Location: Istanbul, Türkiye

A first time mom to baby A living as an expat in Istanbul, Turkey.

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